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My Paris By Teki Latex

TTC's womanizing hip-hop superstar, Teki Latex gives us the recipe for macking honeys in the 1st arrondissement.

When XLR8R asked me to create a guide to my favorite spots to romance a girl in Paris, I knew it wouldn’t be easy. Paris is just globally romantic. Paris makes the most random grey building with pigeons sitting on the roof look romantic. So I focused only on the district I find the most romantic: the 1st arrondissement. (Also, we were kind of too lazy to drive around Paris.) This will be more practical for taking your girl around anyway. She’ll love the funny bubbles at the metro station Palais Royal, and find it artistic and stuff.

Girls love when you buy them expensive useless things. So take her to Colette. Show her the water bar in the basement where you can, you know, sip some water. And then buy her a candle. This is me and my upset-looking little sister (who worked there this summer) in front of Colette.

Higuma is a neat Japanese joint. Their gyoza is easily the best in town. It’s kind of cheap, too, so impress her while saving some money. Higuma is right next to the Paris Paris club, so DJs often eat there before their sets. If you’re lucky, you might bump into Busy P or Justice. Pretend you know them–impress the girl!

The Louvre is obviously the ultimate romantic cultural spot to get all intellectual-sexy-artistic. Show her a couple of paintings, tell her she smiles like Mona Lisa, count the triangles in the pyramid, crack a few Da Vinci Code jokes, make her laugh. Girls love that.

The Jardin des Tuileries is a huge garden situated near the Louvre. In the summer they hold a temporary amusement park there with a Ferris wheel–now that’s romantic! My photographer, Guillaume, thought it would look romantic if I sat next to this girl in Jardin des Tuileries. You can actually see the Place de la Concorde and the Champs Elysées from there. As soon as she saw him taking pictures, the girl left.

Taking the girl you wanna get with to the opera is, as we say, pretty “risqué.” But if you take that risk, it will be heavily rewarded. Although just showing her the outside of the Paris Opéra and surprising her by kissing on the stairs should be sufficient.

Hippopotamus is the ultimate romantic culinary experience. Plus it’s the only restaurant in Paris that stays open all night! Hippo = crazy-dope chick magnet. Try the cote de boeuf.

The neighborhood near the opera has cinemas everywhere. If all else fails (the candle, the pyramid, the Ferris wheel, Hippo), you can always take her to that dark room in the Paramount Opera where they show Divx files on a big large screen. Gently place your arm around her when no one is watching, and try to French kiss her. ’Cause that’s what France is all about, right? French kisses. Thank you and good luck!

Bisous,
Teki Latex

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