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The Six Best Games of the Summer

OMG! Summer Blockbuster Season ‘08 is totes here! American Idol may be over, but fear not! All the hottest Hollywood hunks are here to not only melt your heart at the box office but also your eyeballs, with all manner of interactive entertainment! They may not tickle your loins like the smooth, masculine tones of David Archuleta but they kick more ass than all three Jonas Brothers combined! ROFLMAO!

A Hard Man Is Good to Find
Iron Man
Iron Man has already steamrolled fans at the multiplex but now it’s time for you to get under Robert Downey Jr.’s armor (and the comely ‘stache–meow!) as you battle the nefarious Iron Monger on land and in the air. In what is perhaps the first movie tie-in game that isn’t total garbage, Iron Man features Downey Jr. and Terence Howard lending their talents to help move units and ensure the sequel hits before 2010.

Faster Than Texting and Twice as Handsome!
Speed Racer
Starring the voices of dashing studs Emile Hirsch and Matthew Fox as well as top-heavy dwarf Christina Ricci, Speed Racer brings all the wild car-fu of the Wachowski Brothers silver-screen acid trip to the Wii and DS. For fans of futuristic race classics like F-Zero and WipeOut, Speed Racer lives up to its name on the console without the ugly road rash.

Whip Us Good!
LEGO Indiana Jones: The Original Adventures
We love older men here at XLR8R. It’s true. Their fragility gets us moist. And when we can take total control of the LEGO version of Harrison Ford… well, it doesn’t get much more hip-breakingly fragile than that. LEGO Indiana Jones’ tongue-in-cheek style lets you play as almost every character from Marion to Mola Ram while living out all the whip-lashings, snake-induced pants-pissing, and boulder escapes of the first three films.

Lean, Green, and Big All Over
The Incredible Hulk
If dumb muscle is more your thing, then look no further than Ed Norton’s version of The Incredible Hulk. A free-roaming destruct-o-thon, The Incredible Hulk game takes to the streets of NYC as the Green Machine battles General “Thunderbolt” Ross, who is bent on caging the muscleman in ripped jeans for military purposes... or whatever. Run up the side of the Empire State Building, rip the tops off tanks in Central Park, or hail a cab by throwing another cab at it! Mutant monsters, they’re just like us!

We’re Screamin’ Demon!
Hellboy: The Science of Evil
Like a Fonzie from the Underworld, Hellboy is the epitome of cool. Even when battling undead Nazis, robot armies, or giant, otherworldly jellyfish, he is always quick with a joke or a light of his smoke. But there is no place he’d rather be than kicking ass–which is what Science of Evil is all about. While the story doesn’t really follow the Guillermo del Toro film, the gist remains the same: pummel, blast, and otherwise obliterate the supernatural baddies that get in your way.

Back in Block
LEGO Batman: The Video Game
While this summer’s Dark Knight film focuses on the brooding, damaged, and sexified version of Batman, LEGO Batman takes a more light-hearted, yet somehow equally badass, approach to the Gotham Knightlike LEGO Star Wars and LEGO Indiana Jones before it, the game allows you to not only become a short, blocky version of the Batman but all his foes and allies as well. Rumor has it you can even mix and match! Think of the possibilities–Batman’s pecs, the Penguin’s be-monocled grill, and Robin’s legendary package! The perfect hero?

6 comments The Six Best Games of the Summer

Melipe Fachado (not verified) Wrote

Tue, 06/24/2008 - 22:21

these games fucking suck

your moms penis (not verified) Wrote

Tue, 06/24/2008 - 22:26

i agree with melipe fachado these games suck assholes like i do

Chuck Norris (not verified) Wrote

Tue, 06/24/2008 - 22:30

i award Ryan Rayhill Noob of The Year

P.S. Metal Gear Solid 4 is awsome

angry parent (not verified) Wrote

Tue, 06/24/2008 - 22:35

you should be ashamed of what you have posted on this site. Putting pornographic material such as half naked green men is just discusting.
Yours Truly, Angry Parent
P.S. MGS4 is mad good

flamming fag (not verified) Wrote

Tue, 06/24/2008 - 22:40

guy you should stop messing with the cute innocient fuckin child, its not his fault guys he's just a stupid ignorant child who loves legos and green men in shorts (yum) and a man in an iron suit (sooo hot)...soo stop it guys metal gear 4 is pretty good i love fuckin his old ass ;)

Anonymous (not verified) Wrote

Tue, 06/24/2008 - 22:44

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