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  • Filed under: News
  • 12/01/2006

The 12 Days of Christmas, Day 2

XLR8R's Andrew Smith adds the most glorious Eye of the Hawk beer to his Christmas wish list.

Step aside Belgium, there's a brewery in good old California that'll kick your ass up and down the sidewalk. Mendocino Brewing Company makes the wickedest bad-boy beer in all of the place, by the name Eye of the Hawk.

No ordinary brew, this stuff comes courtesy of those little-known Northern California aliens, will guarantee you go nutty over the holidays, and may or may not make you behave obscenely.

 

For those about to Hawk, we salute you!

 
At a whopping 8% alcohol content, this is a good one to pull out on a friend who thinks they are a serious drinker, and test if their boasts actually live up to reality. You’ll find that the punch found in a bottle of this hearty brew can knock the legs out from under your most beer-loving bro.
 
With this beer, intoxication isn’t achieved with a sledgehammer but with a subtle, creeping drunkenness that must be due to a secret ingredient or brewing technique. I’m willing to wager our friends up in Mendocino have some underground beer development facility that utilizes alien technology brought into effect during the whole Roswell/Area 51 thing a few decades ago. Seems likely.
 
Whatever its origin, the nice thing about Eye of the Hawk is that is doesn’t taste bitter like many strong micro-brews.  Instead, it’s rather sweet and drinkable, and quite easy to down many a bottle. There have been several instances in the history of XLR8R when six-pack of the old Hawk was split between 2 or 3 folks here, followed by a few large glasses of whiskey, and then a sort of euphoric disregard for social conventions ensued. Again I blame the secret ingredients in the beer for this behavior that has left me fighting charges of public indecency and urinating in public (not easy charges to fight when there’s videos of me on Youtube running naked through the streets of San Francisco).
 
So this holiday season, if you want to surprise/punish your friends and relatives, or simply want an excuse to act like an ass, get yourself a six-pack of Eye of the Hawk and see how aliens from Northern California have engineered one of the strongest and best tasting beers on the market.

Andrew Smith 

The Other Days Of Christmas
Day 1, Kids in the Hall DVD Megaset
Day 3, Sad Ghost salt & pepper shakers
Day 4, This Heat's Out of Cold Storage Boxed Set
Day 5, Dustin Dollin's Project 8 No Skool Vans
Day 6, Toys from Kid Robot
Day 7, Gama bird satchel and wallet
Day 8, Official Tourist Rave Hoods
Day 9, M-Audio IE-10 earphones
Day 10, King Jammy's Selector Choice Boxed Set
Day 11, Madvillain action figure
Day 12, XLR8R Subscription

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