Factozoid!! Chelonis R. Jones!

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The Berlin-by-way-of-New York electro-house maven Chelonis R. Jones talks turtles and truths!

Chelonis R. Jones writes songs about plane crashes!
"‘The cockpit’ [from Chatterton] is about the sole survivor of a plane crash, who simply has second thoughts about being rescued! [Songs like this are] always like, ‘Someone rescue me/We need a hero/We all are one/Come together/Send me an angel’—I wanted to get away from those lyrical clichés. What if someone found peace by being confronted with their final moment?! Electronic music never dealt with such a lyrical angle before... until now.”

The place belongs to Chelonis R. Jones!
“I once stopped my show in the middle of the set to offer an annoying audience member 10 Euro to get out of my face, leave the venue, and purchase a Happy Meal! He was lucky not to get his ass kicked in front of 700 fans. For one hour to 90 minutes the place belongs to Chelonis R. Jones. I don't share my stage with attention-grabbing, talentless donkeys desperately seeking the attention of their mock-lesbian exes because they possibly had a penis complex! Get tha fuck outta here! I simply attract vaudeville!”

Chelonis R. Jones owns the spirit of Basquiat!
“I just woke up one morning wanting to paint. I was utterly shocked at the things which came out! It's like inspecting one's toilet bowl... but more vivid, less putrid! I do everything backwards in my life—I did 350 paintings, then went to join up for classes. They looked at my portfolio and assumed I recently escaped the nearest asylum! One nice elderly German man then whispered in my ear, ‘Forget it! Classrooms are for those in need of a compass. You've strangely invented your point B. You own the spirit of Basquiat!’ At that time, I had never heard of that name. He was stunned. He then decided to teach me about my tools instead!”

Chelonis R. Jones is an unpublished novelist!
“I have boxes and boxes [of writings] (5000 to 6000 pages, from age eight to the present), but I am terrified to release them. I've witnessed what they've done (or didn't do) to my music!”

Chelonis R. Jones is part turtle!
“The R in my name is an homage to my stepfather. The Jones is attributed to my effaced/erased bio-father. Chelonis is taken in part from the Latin word for a turtle and its shell. Need I say more?”