While touring the U.S. this month, BBC Radio One’s Mary Anne Hobbs will be supplying us with a fully detailed rundown of her trip. Check back every few days for more updates and videocasts, and see her in action in your town soon (if you haven’t already).

Sept 15

– I am living the dream…

– In fact, I am so optimistic, I’m wondering if a picked gherkin will count as one of my five-a-day! (five-a-day is the number of fruit & veg portions the UK government say you need to prevent grotesque-exploding-heart-premature death). The pickle comes with a burger the size of Canada… I decided to only eat 1/6 of it, which is more than an elegant sufficiency.

– My agent, Miro, and I roll over to the biker bar Zeitgeist to hook up with SF massive Eskmo, DJ G, Jus Wan, Kid Kameleon, et al. Apparently Quentin Tarantino likes the joint. One of my great ambitions is to ask him when he is going to make Fox Force Five the movie! (Uma told Travolta about starring in the pilot in Pulp Fiction). I could be his motorcycle stunt girl… I wonder: Shall I graffiti a message on the restroom wall for him?

Sept 16

– I can’t believe that I had to ask Keith, the promoter of tonight’s show in Portland, to stop off so I could buy some more knickers… but there you have it.

– The woman in the shop said, “Tut tut tuttt… Honey, where you from? You ain’t got NO booty… you need a child’s size.” 🙁 It’s a crushing observation, but I know she’s right. If i ever make any money, I’d like to buy me an ass that you can stand a cup of tea upon…

– There’s a complimentary red rubber johnny by my bed! (“Instead of a mint?” says @deejaymosca on Twitter). Bwoy, hotel merchandise is on some new levels in Oregon.

– 591 tunes in my Soundcloud box in the last seven days… feel guilty that i can’t get to them.

– Grab some sushi with Alex B who plays with me tonight at Holoscene. He requests an OUNCE of wasabi to mash into his soy. I wonder if he shaves his tongue to remove the tastebuds!

– It’s a wet Wednesday night but Holocene is mobbed. The crow is wild, hungry, and insatiable. Alex B and I both have a ball… and I blew-up the rig with the final tune of the night: Headhunter’s “Sex at the Prom.”

– I thought Keith might kill me, but he thinks it’s only right and proper to end the night with a little drama.

Sept 17

– Nine hours on assorted planes to reach NYC.

– Dubwar’s Dave Q meets me at JFK.

– Like many locals, Dave has no idea of the route back to the city and in spite of Incyde’s best efforts using his state-of-the-art GPS, we wind up back at to the airport (after some considerable time on various freeways)—three times.

– Being British, I am excited at the notion of steam rising up from the grids and chimneys on the street at night… and also the prospect of a slice of NY pizza (even if it is 3 a.m.). I would love the pepperoni but I haven’t encountered a vegetable in days, so I plump for the broccoli. But in my heart of hearts, I know I have cheated myself.

Sept 18

– DubWar @ Love in NYC is iconic. It’s one of those gigs you dream of playing your whole life. I feel deeply honored to have been booked to play, but I’m also so nervous I’ve been shaking all day just thinking about it.

– The residents alone could demolish the entire building, and leave behind just a little heap of smouldering rubble: Dave Q, Incyde, Joe Nice, Juakali.

– I’m lucky that Dave Q has booked one of my favourite British producers, Pinch from Bristol, to play on the same bill as me… I always feel strong when we get a chance to roll together.

– Got a ‘good luck’ text from Burial!!

– I’ll never forget Dub War as long as I live. The place was rammed and the atmosphere was absolutely incendiary.

– The equipment is built into the most handsome old-skool mixing desk I have ever seen in a club, but it’s not easily to alter… my CDJ’s were so far apart, that I had to develop a ‘backwards’ DJing technique on the spot.. I heard later that the venue Love is on the same street where Hendrix had his studio.. so maybe it was his spirit that came and touched me.. (as he loved to solo behind his head..) haha!

– Had way too much fun with Dusk, Seckle, Mike Slott, Pandia, Kotchy, and at 5 a.m. Dave Q finished up with “I Wanna Sex U Up” and Joe Nice with Black Box, Joe hollering, “Who used to rollerskate to this tune?”

Sept 19

– Three hours sleep…

– Arrive in Pittsburgh to find it’s the American version of Steel City (Steel City in the UK is Sheffield)

– I eat a chocolate cookie so sugary it gives me heart palpitations.

– Battling with punishing exhaustion and cold sweats… I burned off so much adrenaline in NYC that I’m like a charred twig of a person.

– @I_Skream posts on Twitter ‘TOURING WILL NOT BEAT ME’… I empathize completely with those sentiments.

– Victor, my agent, and Teddy and Jess (the promoters at Shadow Lounge) are effortlessly lovely people… and the place is hectic and happy.

– This is the single freakiest altered state that I have experienced, let alone performed in. I feel like if somebody had gently poked me, my entire body could crumble into dust.

– Joe’s diner breakfast is my first proper meal in 20 hours… the bacon tastes like God fried it himself.

Sept 20

– My pet hate is becoming jackasses who will not turn off their mobiles on a plane. Do me a favour: Give the pilot a fighting chance to take the signals he needs to manoeuvre the plane safely up and down. I mean, what is the point of me splitting burgers into modest fractions and trying to locate any kind of vegetable if you selfish pricks are gonna end my life in a plane crash!

– There’s something really primal about Austin and I love it! No helmet law… choppers, tattoo parlours, and strippers everywhere.

– There’s an number of different textures of music floating out of every doorway on 6th Street.

– Twitter is alive with excitement about the Mad Classy bash up at the venue Barcelona—apparently the locals called it “Church” on Sunday… I had a feeling that the place would be rowdy and it is… OFF THE CHAIN. Insane.

– Sharks 512 and the The Mad Classy crew play a 100 % Texan dubstep set to show off the talent of their state’s filthy producers… It’s one of the wildest nights of the tour… totally mobbed.. peeps absolutely stoooopid in the face (as we say in the UK) and ready to be wrecked by the subs.

– TWSarahSaid posted on Twitter: Sickest night @barcelona_atx EVER!!!! @madclassy went off and @maryannehobbs was completely breathtaking.

– I have an invitation back to play SXSW in March 🙂

Sept 21

– City of Angels, here I come… cannot wait to see the West Coast family, Fly Lo, Brainfeeder crew, GLK, Daedelus, Daddy Kev, and the Low End Theory massive.

– I hear on the wind that Daddy Kev has booked some amazing surprise guests for Low End Theory in LA. I asked for a clue… he gives me “Legoman”… but a frantic Google search only throws up a giant plastic toy that washed up on a Dutch beach.

– I had my single greatest experience in a club ever at Low End Theory in January of 2009… check back soon to see if we can top it.

To be continued…